Joy sans fyn

And he came to her softly. She was half-asleep, lying on her side. She was quiescent, sedated probably.

“Hey,” he said softly.

She had not heard him speak this softly before.

‘Hey,” he said again.

When she did not reply, he pulled a chair next to her bed and began stroking her hair as gently as he could.

He saw that she was holding her phone in her hand. Gently he removed it. The light came alive briefly and he saw that she had been reading his text messages.

“My poor girl.”

He kissed her cheek. It was cold.

“I’m scared,” she said. He absorbed her words, her fears. “Baby, I am too, but I am not going to show you my fears. I’m going to show you my lion face. Or would you prefer a tiger?”

For the first time, her eyes flickered. “You are so silly.”

“We’ll do whatever it takes for us to get through this together.”

“For what purpose were we born, PW?”

He wanted to say, we are just a part of somebody’s experiment. That’s why sometimes, you get the ‘I’m in the wrong movie’ feeling. But instead he replied, “For the reason you told me, to experience the breadth and depth of human emotions. And I think also, to turn anti-matter and dark energy into light and love. That’s the experiment we are all part of.”


Ag, don’t you know quantum theory?”

“I think we are recycled when we die. Because all the wealth of information cannot just disappear, can it? Laws of Thermodynamics.”

“Wouldn’t make sense if we just die,” he agreed. The love and the joy goes on. Joy sans fyn, Alice.”

And we go on living, he wanted to say, moving slowly towards an equilibrium, the end-game of this whole blerrie experiment where the outcome had already been determined.

From Chapter 16″ The Hologram-like Universe.


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